your parents love me but you hate me
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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