i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I believe in your delicious
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
