If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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