I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
