I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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