nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
