ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
