Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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