How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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