we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize