Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
