yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
