Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
