My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
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whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
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future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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