I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
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I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
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She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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