This girl is more easily done than said...
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
