I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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