I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
