the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
