just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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