the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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