I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize