I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
