why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
