Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
