Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
