Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize