we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
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She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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