the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
