She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
