You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
