Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
