sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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