I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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