im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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