Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
