He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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