She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He is an equal opportunity slut.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
