Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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