you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
