Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
