Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
