So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize