dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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