i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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