fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
