this beer tastes like vomit already
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
