Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Operation Purity has been aborted
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
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