also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I will be naked everywhere
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!