You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
What drink are we having for lunch?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
