would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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