I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
What a dumb baby whore.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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