So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
