Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
MIDGETS
????
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
