what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize