i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
