I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
