Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
