In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Do you still have your period?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize