I'm so fucking centered right now
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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