I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
