sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
