You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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