I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
