I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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