white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
