your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You've changed since you got that strap on
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
