i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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