her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
