I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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